Many people think that some emotions such as anger, fear, grief, worry and and sadness are negative and we must try to our best to avoid them. In truth, every emotion, positive or negative are good for us to a certain degree.
Anger is our motivator, it gets us moving. It is what makes us decide to leave our current jobs, our relationships, to change our situation for the better. But too much anger, or anger that is not expressed becomes explosive. In my generation, children were told to be good, be quiet, be calm. We were never encouraged to express our anger in a healthy way. Which is why so many of us bottle it up and we become sick because of it.
Some of us were told to put on our happy faces, even if we were sad. Without sadness there is no joy, and with out joy there is no sadness. How can we know one without the other so that we can appreciate these circumstances when they arrise. Too much joy becomes manic and too much sadness becomes depression. As you can see these two balance each other out.
Worry is huge in our society today. Most people I come in contact with are worried about something. The most common is finances. Again worry is another emotion that can benefit us if used properly. Worry leads to thinking which is great for sorting out our problems, but this thinking can easily turn into confusion if the worry is too great.
The emotion of fear is also common. Fear on a positive note is very much like our anger. if we are afraid, we run, we get the heck out of there, we move. But fear, if too great can leave us shaking in our boots, leading to weakness and paralysis. Fear is what keeps us safe.
As I tell my clients, grief doesn’t necessarily mean death, it can also mean the loss of something. The loss of communication, a friendship, or even the loss of self. Grief assists with dispersion. The ability to remember the good and let go of the bad, it allows us to move on. When a loved one dies it is painful at the beginning but as time goes on, that pain becomes bearable. We are able to remember the good times with them and eventually move on. Too much grief brings dispair and loss of hope, and what is life without hope.
In the future when you are experiencing any of these five emotions, don’t push them deep down in hopes that they will go away. Explore them, ask yourself why you are feeling this way, and is there a healthier way you can express them?
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