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What I Have Learned About Love

Compared to some, being with someone for 12 years and married for almost 6 isn’t long but I wanted to share with you some insights I have learned about love along the way.

Love Changes

Or rather how the way love is shown, changes. I remember the dating stage with my husband and even the early years of our marriage. How he would bring me flowers on his way home from work, come to say goodnight as I was going to bed, or even, call during the day just to say I love you. You know, the romantic stuff. But over the years these acts of love have dwindled and for a time I was worried that we were losing our spark. What I failed to notice was that these acts didn’t disappear, just changed. Now he picks up my favorite snack when he goes grocery shopping, or cleans the kitchen when I am at work, or makes me a cup of tea on a cold day. You see, the love that I thought was lacking spark had just changed and in fact realizing this, made my love for him stronger.

Love Yourself First
Another thing I have learned over these short years is that loving yourself will enable you to love your partner that much more. Some of us think that unconditional love is selfless, and to an extent it  is. But if we don’t learn to love ourselves, to take care of ourselves, how can we love or take care of others? Being “selfish” is not necessarily a bad thing. We need to be able to set time aside for ourselves throughout the course of our week that nurtures who we are. This is one way we can show ourselves love.

Love doesn’t always mean smooth sailing
Just because you are in love doesn’t always mean that you will always see eye to eye. It has been a struggle for me to honor my partners differences in opinion and points of view without anger. When I step away from the frustration I realize that this uniqueness is what I had fallen for in the first place, and am starting to allow him to express himself as he needs to when times are tough. Allowing this to happen opens up the lines of communication so that the tough times may not last as long as they originally would have.

Love is different for every partnership, every couple, every situation. Find what works for you and those you love, don’t compare yourselves to what others do or how they act. Find that uniqueness within your relationships and what works for you.


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